He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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