Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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