Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
