from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
