Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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