There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
