no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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