i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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