you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
