Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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