i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
