Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
