oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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