there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
