Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize