Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
