so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
