This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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