no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
