Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
