i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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