you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
