but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
