So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize