My friends, they love my intelligence
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
