Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
