She tied me up with her honor cords...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
