so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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