I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
