And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
