I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize