whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
