my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
