i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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