Sponge bath it is.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
