ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
