Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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