Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
did i just pee glitter
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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