i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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