i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
