My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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