Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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