How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You took a bar mat shot.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
