haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
