Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
