Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
