Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
