This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
