i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
