omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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