I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
