No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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