i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
