oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
