I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I understand Curling. That high.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
