i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
