grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
