Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
