Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
