I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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