I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
