It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
