i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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