I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
