Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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